I spent the weekend in Ireland and it was pretty damn nice. Since starting the medication I have felt a lot calmer, usually when packing for a convention I'd be listing things that I need to do and getting stressed out. However, this time everything was a lot more laid back, I could think about things and just do them instead of over thinking and getting all pent up. It's been a nice change.
I've noticed that I'm able to confront more and I feel pretty good about myself. One particular moment was when a con goer was not paying attention to personal space in front of my stall, continuing to try and get a hat when 'Don't touch me' was specifically said. So I told him off.
One issue I do have though is without the current help of therapy I'm trying to pick out whether my feelings are valid or not. Whether I'm 'allowed' to be angry or upset over different things or whether I just put it down to anxiety. I talked about it last night with a partner and he says I need to be nicer to myself, I'm not sure how to do that though. I'm hoping that's something I'll learn when CBT starts and I have my first assessment phone call on Wednesday.
Attempting to stick with the positive this weekend, minus the fact I'm so tired. It was great to talk to a friend about mental health, it's great when someone understands it a lot more than normal. In no way does that mean that those who have been supporting me don't understand and they've been fantastic but it's refreshing when someone tells you some of their 'moments' as well. You can't help but think 'Thank fuck it's not just me'
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